Ever since I was a child, I always had one dream: To eat a krabby patty, it was probably not meant to be, but as a kid who watched shitloads of Spongebob Squarepants I was starstruck when Mr Krab, owner of Krusty Krab gave me a surprise visit. It all happened about a few days back, it was around early evening and I was walking towards the living room when I heard some noise from inside the bathroom and to my surprise it was Mr. Krab in my toilet. However, this was not the first time he had surprised me. He had visited me about a couple of weeks earlier too but then I was not able to recognise him because contrary to his red colour in the cartoon, in real life he was brown (maybe the creators did not want a brown character in the show ☹). Since I now knew him, I was no longer scared of him, after all no one can be scarier than my roommate but that is a discussion for another day.
We drank some tea together, had a little chat and then I flushed him back so he could go back home but that little son of a gun had other plans, that fucker wouldn’t budge. It was as if he had declared it was his home from then onwards. I tried to reason with him that every man has his needs and to sit inside someone’s toilet and blocking it is not kind but I guess he was a naughty one and wanted to pinch my ass with those great black pincers of his. It did not leave me a lot of options but to try to RIP him and in that moment of desperation I poured in half a bottle of harpic in hopes that he won’t come back and it did work, or atleast i thought it did.
But, just as great movies have a twist, my life too had quite a twist when he came back the next day. However, this time I had had it and I snapped (not the crab) and just like most of the desi parents I give him an earful in the hopes that he understands and just like most of the brown kids, he surprisingly understood and literally went back inside after seeing me and hasn’t returned since. So, I guess I have learnt how to parent the desi way lol. But the amount of mental trauma this has given me, I still check the toilet from all angles to check for the crab.
So all in all Mr Krab, great dude but still a major asshole, maybe now I understand why Plankton wants to steal his secret recipe.